I had to close my eyes…

I recently returned from a trip to Utah. A beautiful, restorative trip meant to reconnect my soul to source and my heart and mind to purpose. 

Pure harmony. As if time stands still. The air as it fills every space of your being, the warmth of the sun doing only what it knows to do, and the sound of nature showing up as it was meant to be.

If you have been in “the arena” this last year, honestly even if you haven’t, and you’ve been locked away in seclusion, my story is for you.

In the last month, I have sent my two oldest kids to college. It’s a crazy mixture of fear and exhilaration. Yay, we’ve made it and please God keep them safe. They seem to be in their element. My heart is proud and yet a little nostalgic. 

My husband’s career is mainly travel. As in he travels, a lot. We make long-distance look like a breeze. I think. 

Annie and I hold down the fort. Peacefully most of the time 😉

I’m giving you context so you can understand that choosing to travel on a long weekend when my family was at home is an incredibly hard decision to make. 

I was invited to spend a weekend with colleagues in fields similar to mine. That’s important. The people so focused on healing you, rely heavily on each other for strength, new ideas, success stories, protocols, and last but certainly not least – connection. We’re not tired, we’re passionate. The amount of courage and selflessness that it takes to show up when everyone around is filled with fear and uncertainty knows no bounds. Sometimes the soul of a healer needs healing itself. 

My soul found peace and calm and connection in the hiking trails of the mountains, on the paddleboard on the lake, in the walks around the town of Park City, and my most favorite- my horseback ride. I knew nature, the plants, the landscapes and the animals were just what I needed. There were no words exchanged. Just the lovely space of co-existing and living.

Stuart, my horse, sure was a sweet one. A hard worker, his staff said. Not a complainer. He gets to work and does his thing. I did have a bit of nagging uncertainty, control only from a small reign. He climbed, he followed his guide, he carried me for two hours of breathtaking views. As we were nearing the end of the trail ride, there was a particularly sharp, descending turn in loose dirt. Like REALLY steep and REALLY  sharp. Above my max of exhilarating adventure. 

Umm, can I go a different way? Nope? Ok then. 

“Just close your eyes,” Sam the guide said. He knows what to do. And with a silent prayer to Stuart to keep us safe, close them I did. For 10 seconds. 

And therein lies my short story to you. We are in a time where fear is tightly wound all around us. There is no going around the proverbial mountain in avoidance. Only through it. The messiness, the uncertainty, the opportunity, the gifts, the connection, the education, the LOVE.

I encourage you to be brave. Whatever brave means for you today. And if that seems too hard, I invite you to just close your eyes.

Your heart is beating and that is the same life that was in the wildflowers on the side of the mountain, the same life that flowed in the waters of the lakes below, and the same life that warmed our skin from the sun.

Just close your eyes and breathe in the knowing, the courage, and the life that so abundantly lives in each of us.

That life is the power that we “feed’ every day.

My soul is restored. My passion rejuvenated.

Harnessing the power of life within you is my life’s work.

Life is what it’s all about.